The 21st century girl’s guide to the booty-call

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We’re picking apart the pros and cons of the newest tactic in the dating game, the infamous booty call.

The booty-call: easier than a relationship, and less risky than a string of one night stands. It’s a firm staple in the life of many single (and ready to mingle) tons. With no strings attached and more often than not fuelled by those five too many vodka sodas, booty-calls are the ultimate tool of convenience.

But with so many confusing terms around sex and dating being flung about recently (the inherently vague ‘I’m seeing someone’ being a personal favourite of mine) where does the booty-call end and casual sex begin? And where does casual sex end and ‘seeing someone’ begin? What does ‘seeing someone’ even mean?!

Ok, so let’s start with the original booty call. The classic. The Magnum of booty calls, if we’re talking ice creams. There are a few possible scenarios surrounding how this might begin. Perhaps the most straightforward one is the one which starts out as a one night stand. A ‘cheeky pull’ in the club (with a guy who looks like he probably enjoys a cheeky Nandos with the lads every Saturday) ends as a night of passion until you kick him out in the morning just in time for you to start retching into the toilet. Despite the fact that the sex was merely mediocre (and if you’re completely honest you don’t remember much of it either) on all consequent nights out hereon this is your go-to-guy when you decide you want to spice up the night a little bit – you can ring him and he’s there. It doesn’t matter if he’s at his mums or pulling an all-nighter in the library to get his assignment done, you will RING HIM.

And why shouldn’t you? Women today are more sexually liberated and open than ever. For many women, high-powered careers and dancing to single ladies are just some of the things on the ‘more important than men’ list. Booty calls are a simple way to get your fix (we all have needs, amirite ladies?) without the drama and investment a relationship calls for. And despite the rather bleak description above of your average booty call experience, sometimes the sex can actually be good. This brings me onto booty call number 2: The Friend.

In University terms, it could be a housemate. In work terms, it’s the guy from reception. But no matter who he is, once you’ve had a drink he just gets really, really sexy. There are pros and cons of this. You know him, so unlike the former scenario it’s not a case of ‘get him out as quick as possible.’ In the morning; you’re happy to lounge about with him and chat ‘cause after all, he’s a friend. And you don’t always have to be drunk to sleep with each other either. However, the cons can be dangerous territory. As the sober sex starts to filter in almost as much as the drunken sex, you start to get jealous when you get with other people and if you live together, God forbid he brings another girl back to the house.  ‘So are you seeing each other?’ your curious friends ask, faced with nothing but shrugs and confusion from your non-existent response. ‘So you’re just casually banging?’ they continue. Err, what?! The beauty of the booty-call is that there are meant to be zero feelings involved, so if any attachment starts to form for either of you take my word for it – get out of there fast.

The third and final form of booty-call is the one that we all know we shouldn’t do, yet everyone has done it at least once (probably). The ex. This can be super awkward, especially if either of you still holds a candle for the other. But again, as is the running theme of the booty-call, it’s easy. You’re in familiar territory and you know you can go back to his without running the risk of ending up in some bizarre 50-Shades-style sex dungeon; more just his dank bedroom covered in cat hair and dirty boxers on the floor (he STILL doesn’t pick them up).

The issue is when booty-calls become that little bit too familiar. No matter how high your sex drive, booty calling or being booty-called five nights out of seven is dangerous territory. Unless you’re literally kicking your booty call out with their pants around their ankles, you’re inevitably going to be spending time with one another, whether that’s in the form of morning-after chat or post-sex spooning. I once opened my bathroom door to find a housemate’s regular booty call taking a leisurely bubble bath post-morning sex and later on found him helping himself to my Cheerios. Clearly, at some point down the line, it can start to become ‘normal’.

But on the other hand, booty calls can offer the best of both worlds. Let’s face it; boyfriends are hard work, and how many women these days really want to put a guy before all the other fun things life has to offer?! So, if you’re a busy gal with no time or want for a relationship at the moment, could booty-calls be the answer to still getting your end away without all the hassle?

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