Swipe happy: It’s not all gloom and doom on Tinder

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For most of us, the word ‘Tinder’ is associated with sleazy chat up lines and dick pics. But it’s not always like that – our writer Zoe has found some couples who got lucky in love after meeting on the infamous dating app…

We’re the Internet generation. Almost everything can be done from the comfort of our own home – food, clothes and even cakeaway can be delivered to our doorsteps. I mean, leaving the house is so last century. With dating apps available on your phone, it would be rude not to try them.

There are loads of websites you can sign up to, but from personal experience, I would have to say Tinder and plentyoffish.com are the best for us youngsters.

Meet the online dating success stories… and the not so successful ones.

Okay, so I guess I’d better start with myself. After coming out of a two-year-long relationship in my first year of Uni, and walking straight into a new ‘no strings attached’ deal with my now housemate (no, thankfully it’s not awkward), when I was finally able to call myself single at the start of second year, I can’t lie, I went a bit boy mad.

After a string of one night stands which I mainly can’t remember, I decided I wanted more than drunken fumblings with guys who probably couldn’t even remember my name. But I didn’t want anything too serious, so I did what every horny attention-seeking 20 year old would do and joined Tinder.

Here are some genuine messages from the archives.

From the innocent – Sykes: ‘Would you like to go to nandos with me x’

To the creepy (expected) – Tom: ‘5ft1 what more can a guy ask for’

To the downright weird – Sam: ‘What’s your preferred washing machine model to sit inside?’

And then there’s the ones who are trying so hard they forgot to actually chat me up – Jethro: ‘You any good with phones? Think mine might be broken.’

Either way, after creepy messages asking for my postcode, whether I wanted to go and nurse their hangovers (boys are not subtle), and the occasional dick pic, I decided Tinder wasn’t for me.

Less than a week later, deprived of attention, I set my sights on plentyoffish.com. Convincing myself it was just a laugh and I wasn’t a sad loser joining a dating website at 20, I made a profile and started filling out the compatibility quizzes.

After a couple of days obsessing and checking my emails every ten minutes for new matches, I took the plunge and messaged a guy from Newcastle whose bio made him seem like a laugh. A week later and I was on a date in Wetherspoons. He was a nice guy, but at 5ft 4 he wasn’t pushing any of my buttons.

Next came ‘Big Ginge’ who was an absolute gem in the comfort of a dark room and a plentiful supply of alcohol. But when I met him for a third date to the cinema and he wore hiking boots, an outdoor rucksack and I realised just quite how ginger he was in daylight, I can’t lie I was more than turned off.

Third time’s a charm right? Wrong. But at least this guy had a bit of something about him. If you ignored his cynical life attitude, the fact he worked full-time in KFC and the bald patch on the top of his head, he was actually quite a laugh. He even made it to my bedroom. But after inviting him over to watch a film together (and everyone knows what that means), he failed to make a move and the moment passed. I’m not a fan of PDA so when he tried to go in for the kill at the door I had no choice but to convert it to a peck on the cheek and a platonic hug.

Okay, so my online dating history doesn’t exactly read like a Shakespeare romance but some people have a tad more luck than I did. Here are some success stories to raise your expectations of finding the one via your iphone.

The Tinder playa

Lizzie, 22, joined Tinder in 2014 for a bit of fun: “Everyone else had it so it didn’t seem as lame as match.com.”

Averaging a Tinder date per month, Lizzie has met a whole load of men on the app.

“I’ve had some fantastically dirty convos with some guys.

“One guy was a painter at a prestigious art school in London doing a masters. He had excellent banter about needing life models with more arse so we ended up swapping nude pics for ‘art purposes’.”

An art student herself, Lizzie shares the best and worst of her Tinder escapades.

“There was one Spanish guy who took me to a really posh bar in Chelsea – he was a broker. He just spoke to me about numbers, shares, money, work. Then I reminded him that I was an art student and he wound the night up quite quickly. But I’m glad it ended before I had to buy a round – two glasses of wine were £30!”

“One date, I wore a brand new pair of jeans but the ink came off on my hands without me realising. I was all flirty and touching my hair and face, thinking I looked fabulous. I had actually been smudging blue ink all over my face from my jeans – not a great look. Safe to say I never heard back from him.”

“I met a gorgeous Italian guy and we were getting on like a house on fire so he ended up coming back to mine. I said I wasn’t going to sleep with him because I thought we shouldn’t straight away. He stayed the night and stuff happened if you get my drift. He even stayed for coffee the next day and kept chatting – how perfect! Then he went skiing and I never heard anything from him ever again. Maybe he fell off a mountain?”

Despite her stories, Lizzie insists she’s never had a horrendous date, and she’s proof that being a Tinder playa can actually be pretty fun.

All hail Lizzy, Queen of Tinder dates

All hail Lizzy, Queen of Tinder dates

And it doesn’t have to stop at lols dates and good sex, Tinder can even result in proper, functioning relationships- who knew!?

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How to stay safe on Tinder

We spoke to Hayley Quinn, a dating guru who specialises in Tinder, for her top tips on how to avoid being caught out.

“There’s a huge catfish element to Tinder so do what you can to establish that the person is real before entering into more conversation. Woman to woman conversations are particularly bad for one of the parties turning out to be a man!”

She advises asking for their Instagram and Twitter so you can check them out before moving the convo to whatsapp.

“The nature of Tinder for most people is that they log on, have a short love affair with it, then log off. Don’t lose out on the person of your dreams, make sure you get them onto whatsapp before they disappear completely.

“Never feel bad about exiting a Tinder date early. You owe this person nothing and if their profile was false advertising, respect your safety first and move on,” she adds.

And if you’ve ever needed any more of a reason to join: “It can be a bit of a lottery in online dating so preserve your energy to roll the dice again and get out there.”

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